As always, I can't be 100% sure whether she's insulting me orcomplimenting me- but I've been on such a high for the last few hours,there's no reason not to assume it's a compliment."I know," I say, pulling my thickest and girliest pout for Melissa andher friends, all of whom giggle at me- but in a much different, muchfriendlier way than they've giggled at me in the past."Oh, you are SUCH a girl!" Cameron- another member of Melissa's gang-says with a giggle, which only intensifies when I pull a girlish posefor the gang.I'm almost bent double in a fit of girlish giggles myself, both at myplaying around and at the fact that after fourteen long, LONG years, Iam finally being treated as the girl I always longed to be. I'm dressedas a girl. I've made-up my face and styled my hair to look like a girl.I speak like a girl, and I'm acting 100% like a girl, and I've neverfelt more comfortable in my own skin... Until I enter my next class andam confronted by another look of horror from my former. She didn't have to spend the whole weekend. And besides, the roads were terrible on weekends, jammed with cars and drunk drivers. One night, she promised herself. One night wouldn't hurt.She felt like a runaway teen-ager as she drove up Interstate Highway 5, her scarfed hair whipping under the ballooning material as the convertible sped past the Friday traffic. She felt the eyes of the male drivers staring at her when she passed them and a twinge of excitement raced through her. She felt free and loose and abandon. As she had when she slept with Allen the first time and he took her, hurting her by squeezing her tender flesh roughly and biting her flesh with his thick, strong teeth. She wished he was with her now so they could pull over the side of the road, sneak into the bushes and make love wildly, like two heated animals.She swerved sharply to avoid ramming a slow Buick as her thoughts returned to the task of driving. Her heart raced and her leg trembled as she looked over her.
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